12 Days

By Hanna Heyes

It was a snowy, brisk December day in Devil's Hole. Three inches of snow lay on the ground and it was still falling like confetti at a birthday celebration.

Inside the leader's cabin, Hannibal Heyes was scurrying back and forth gathering up every pencil and clean sheet of paper he could find.

"What are ya up to, Heyes?" Kid Curry emerged from his bedroom after taking an afternoon nap to witness his cousin rummaging through every drawer and cabinet he came to. "You look like a squirrel hurryin' ta gather nuts."

"Getting together pencils and paper." He headed into his own bedroom.

"I can see that by the small mess of it layin' on the sittin' room table. 'Why' are ya doin' it?"

"What?" Heyes yelled from his room.

"I said why are ya doin' it for?"

"Huh?"

"I SAID WHY... JUST COME OUT HERE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'." Kid plopped down on the couch and scratched his head.

"There we go," Heyes muttered to himself as he found what he needed. He went out to lay the last of the stationary on the table with the rest. "That should do it."

Curry closed his eyes and dropped his head forward with a sigh. The he opened them as he looked up at the aggravating enigma. "Just tell me what you're doin'. Why is it like talkin' to a wall with you sometimes?"

The gang leader ignored the question. " I thought we all could use a little holiday cheer around here," he grinned.

His partner moaned. "Oh God, not again. Ya did this last year with that crazy snowball war idea."

"Yeah. And everybody ended up having fun, even if I didn't win. I still think your team cheated."

"Nope. Kyle won fair and square."

Heyes put his hands on his hips. "That's still up to debate."

"Nope. Ain't nobody wantin' to debate 'cept you," Curry smiled at him impishly.

A smirk appeared. "Well, it's not a snowball fight." The smirk was quickly replaced with a dimpled smile. "We're all going to write a song together."

Silence filled the room as azure eyes stared in stunned confusion. Eventually, Kid found his voice. "We're gonna do what?"

"We're going to write ourselves a song." Heyesian pride burst out in all its glory at the apparent great idea. "It'll be interesting and build morale during this boring time of the year."

"It'll build to the boys thinkin' ya done lost your marbles is what it'll do."

"I don't think so."

"You think wrong. I need some coffee. Or maybe somethin' stronger if ya gonna make me go to the bunkhouse with ya for that announcement." Curry got up and made his way into the kitchen. "I swear that weird brain of yours misfires sometimes."

"And that's when I have some of my best ideas."

A curly blond head peaked around the kitchen wall in unbelief. Curry snorted and went back to pouring coffee. That is, 'trying' to pour coffee. "Oughta known this stuff would be thick enough to build brick walls with by now," he murmured.

"That's been there a few hours," Heyes called out as he wrote a number between one and twelve at the top of each sheet of paper.

"You don't say. More like a few days." Even with the pot turned completely upside-down, the coffee was just oozing out.

__________________________

Heyes, followed by his uncertain cousin, headed to the bunkhouse. The snow quieted their footsteps. The outlaw leader opened the door without knocking, scaring every man inside within an inch of their lives.

"What the heck's wrong with you?!" Wheat shouted, having spilled the shot of whiskey he was about to drink onto the floor.

"Nothing." Heyes just kept speaking without any further acknowledgment of him. "All of you gather around the table. I got something for us to do."

The two that weren't already at the table playing poker walked over.

"Is it another snowball war?" Kyle asked excitedly. "I won last year, r'member!"

"Yeah, I remember. But no, it's not a snowball fight this year."

"Don't tell me you're gonna try to do a job in the cold and snow!" Wheat's eyebrows rose.

"Not that either. Although, I wish we could. That'd surely break up the winter boredom."

Curry leaned on the wall beside the stove drinking a tasty cup of coffee.The anticipation of seeing the gang's reaction to the revealing of the idea had him grinning.

"Move the poker cards over for a few minutes." Heyes spread out the twelve sheets of paper facedown on the table.

"What's this?" Preacher asked intrigued.

"Well, as you all know, Christmas is getting near so I thought we should try to do a little something in the spirit of the season."

"Oh no...," Wheat muttered.

"We are going to rewrite a Christmas song!" Heyes beamed at each gang member.

Just as it had with his partner in the cabin earlier, silence fell on the assembly. Every eye in the place stared, first at each other, then at their fearless, or was that crazy, leader.

"Huh?" Kyle finally asked.

"We're going to write a song!"

The rest of the gang came out of their shocked stupor.

'Here's where they tell him he's nuts', Kid thought.

"Heyes, maybe you need to talk to somebody. Talk to Kid. This boredom has made you a little loopy," Preacher suggested.

Kid snorted into his coffee cup. The others tried to hide their grins while laughing silently. Except Wheat. His laugh was so loud it was probably heard in Cheyenne.

"You done lost your mind, Heyes!"

Heyes quirked the side of his mouth. "LIKE I SAID EARLIER," he loudly spoke over the human donkey hee-hawing, "nothing's wrong with me. I just thought we'd try a little, amusing activity."

Kyle scooted his chair closer to the table. "I like it!"

"Thank you, Kyle. Now, there's twelve sheets of paper here. And since there's seven of us, five of us will take two of these. Then the remaining two will take one." Heyes looked over at his partner. "You too, Kid. We're all going to be involved."

Curry strolled over and took one from the table. "I'll be one of the two."

"What do we do with 'em, " Hank asked.

"We're going to write our own version of the Twelve Days of Christmas song. Have you all heard it before?"

All the boys nodded.

"Good. So everybody think about it and write what you'd like to have on each of your papers along with your name. When everybody's done, we'll read them out loud and see how it sounds. Me and Kid will be back over after dinner and see what you all wrote."

'Got that right, Heyes. Dinner before weirdness.' Kid thought with a roll of his eyes.

"And keep your paper secret from everybody else. It'll be more fun for all of us to find out what you wrote together. Now all of you grab for two. Whoever is left out gets the last one."

"But I don't know how to write, Heyes. R'member?"

"I'm sure Wheat don't care to help you. Just don't look at his answers."

Kyle grinned and looked at Wheat. "I already got me some good idees!"

_________________________

"So, what'd you write for yours, Kid?" Heyes asked around a mouthful of venison.

"Ain't sayin'. You said we don't tell each other."

"Nobody'll know if you tell me. So c'mon, what'd you write?"

"I said I ain't sayin'." Curry crammed potatoes in his mouth.

"I'll tell you mine if you do."

Kid looked up as he swallowed. "Will you let me eat in peace? You'll know soon enough. Those were YOUR rules."

"Well, yeah. To the men. I'm saying me and you can break them."

"NO."

"Don't have to get proddy about it."

A very audible sigh was heard. "If you say another word, I'm gonna reach over there and push that hard head of yours in your mashed potatoes."

Heyes frowned. "What just crawled up your..."

"That's it! I'm eatin' on the couch!"

"Thought you were going to put my head in my plate."

"I thought it over. I don't wanna hear you whine all night."

Momentarily, Curry walked back into the kitchen and snatched the plate of venison and three more biscuits off the table. "And I'm takin' this with me!"

"I didn't want anymore anyway," Heyes announced as his cousin left the room. No sooner had the last word left his mouth, a biscuit flew into the kitchen, hitting him square in the forehead.

________________________________

Heyes and Curry walked back to the bunkhouse, knocking on the door this time to announce their arrival. When they entered, everyone gathered around the table. Kid leaned against the wall near the stove once again to enjoy another decent cup of coffee.

Heyes smiled. "Okay boys. Have all of you finished writing your song verse?"

"I don't know about that. I just wrote down what I want. Ain't that what you said?" Lobo puzzled.

"What I had you write was a verse to the song. It's the same thing as writing what you wanted. Don't worry. You did it right."

There were nods around the table.

"Now, we're going to read what we wrote. We'll start with number twelve. Who had it?"

Kyle's hand went up in the air excitedly. "I did!"

Wheat snickered knowing what Kyle had put down.

"Tell us what you got, Kyle." Heyes was genuinely curious as to what his men had written.

"I put, ..." Kyle looked to Wheat. "What all did I write?"

Wheat whispered it in his ear. "Oh yeah! I put I wanted twelve women what don't mind a man who don't like baths."

Curry actually spit his coffee out and laughed, along with everyone else.

Their leader broke out in giggles as well.

"What?" Kyle looked around.

Wheat slapped his small partner on the back, dust flying into the air. "Kyle, you ain't gonna find no woman what wants a man that don't take no baths."

"You don't know! I'm sure there's one out there somewhere! Maybe she don't like 'em neither."

"Well, if you find one like that and marry her, I ain't never comin' to visit," Wheat informed him.

Laughter erupted again.

"Alright, who's next? Number eleven," Heyes asked after the hysterics died down.

Preacher spoke. "I got it. I put, eleven women who knows how to make whiskey."

A chorus of 'yeah's' and 'amen brother' sounded through the bunkhouse.

"Number ten." Heyes looked around. His cousin stepped forward and smiled.

"I want ten good-looking ladies who take their time to pleasure a man."

At that the building exploded in 'whoops' and 'whistles'.

"That's a good one, Kid!" Hank yelled above the noise.

Everyone now seemed to be enjoying the activity they first deemed as insane. They all wanted to know what the others wrote.

"I'm next," Lobo replied. "I want nine women."

"No specific kind?" Kid asked.

"Nu uh. Just want some women."

"I'm starting to see a pattern here," Heyes said.

"I got eight." Wheat cleared his throat and smiled. "I want eight wild women who won't turn me in."

"That sounds like a good one too!"

"Think I'll change mine to that!"

The Devil's Hole choir went off again.

Kyle jumped up. "I got the next one! I got five!"

"Sorry, Kyle. Five don't come next. Seven does," Heyes informed him hiding a grin at the enthusiasm.

Wheat looked to his side. "I thought you knew your numbers, Kyle."

"Not back'ards I don't."

Curry put his coffee cup to his mouth to stifle a chuckle.

"I got the seven," Hank reported.

'I think I know what it's going to be about,' Heyes thought.

"I want seven horses..."

"Well that's a surprise. Somebody finally wrote something different." Heyes replied.

But then Hank continued. "With seven sexy women ridin' 'em!"

Heyes pinched the bridge of his nose. 'I should've known...' "You guys do know that the lyrics say, 'my true love gave to me' don't you?"

"Yeah," everyone nodded.

"So your true loves are all going to give you women?"

"If she's my true love then she'll understand," Kid deadpanned.

Heyes just sighed.

Preacher then stood. "I got the six. I want six women that knows how to make moonshine."

Kyle whispered to Wheat. "When does five come?"

"Right now."

"My turn again! I want five women who likes 'baccor!"

Curry turned a chair around and finally sat. "So you want twelve women who don't care if ya don't bath and five more who don't mind ya chewin' your chaw?"

"Heck yeah! That's paradise right there!"

The gang all looked around waiting to hear the next one. "Who got four?" Curry inquired.

"I did," Heyes said a little sheepishly.

"Well, partner, what'd ya put?"

"I want... four smart women that are good at poker and in bed." His lips tightened in a line to keep from smiling at his own verse containing women.

"And you were talkin' 'bout us!" Kid drawled. "You're somethin' else."

"Well, I mean, who DON'T want women?! But I figured at least some of the answers would be something else!"

"Welcome to the woman club, Heyes!" Kyle interjected.

Heyes pointed. "Kyle, don't ever say that again. Ever."

Everyone let out another laugh.

"Okay, okay! Who got three?"

"I did," Wheat smiled. "I want to own a cat house. And I'm the only customer."

Another round of cat calls.

"But, how ya gonna make money like that?" Kyle asked.

"Simple. My ladies will pay me rent to live there. And pay me for my wonderful services."

A huge dimpled grin covered Heyes' face. "So what you're saying is that YOU'RE the one that'll be the soiled dove, getting paid for your 'services'."

Wheat's face turned brick red. "NO! I'll be... they'll still be... who's next?! Go on!"

The whole gang guffawed so hard that they almost fell out of their chairs.

"I am," Hank stated. "I want two sexy women taking care of my horse farm with the other seven I have."

"That sounds like a good idee!" Kyle exclaimed.

"And I ended up with number one. Fitting I think," Heyes said smugly. "I want a Brooker safe that's full of money."

"Heyes, you're the only one that didn't put women for both your answers. You realize that?" Kid slyly grinned.

"I know. But I got to have money if I'm going to treat my four women right!"

More howling and agreement commenced.

"Hey!" Kyle jumped up again. "Let's sing our song!"

Unbelievably, everyone admitted they wanted to.

"Alright!" Heyes snickered. "Here we go!" Heyes cleared his throat. "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a Brooker safe full of money."

Out in the barn, every horse ear perked forward at the racket that came from the bunkhouse as each man sang his verse.

"On the second day..."

"On the third..."

And so on until they reached the last verse which, after Kyle sang his line, every man gathered to see all the papers and joined in.

"On the twelf day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, twelve women what don't mind a man who don't like baths...

Eleven women who knows how to make whiskey...

Ten good-looking ladies who take their time to pleasure a man...

Nine women...

Eight wild women who won't turn me in...

Seven horses with seven sexy women ridin' 'em...

Six women that knows how to make moonshine...

Fiiive women who likes 'baccorrrrr...

Four smart women that are good at poker and in bed...

Three cat houses where Wheat's the only customer...

Two sexy women taking care of my horse farm with the other seven I have...

And a Brooker safe full of moneeeyyy!"

They all whooped and hollered when the song was done. Whiskey was brought out and the evening rolled on into the snowy night.

Around midnight, the cousins left the bunkhouse.

"I have to admit it, partner. That was a lot more fun than it sounded like it was gonna be. And that's the most unique version of that song I ever heard."

"Thanks, Kid."

"But next Christmas, let's do somethin' a little more normal. Like, just have big dinners the whole month of December to celebrate."

Heyes giggled. "Who wants to be normal?" He grabbed his cousin's shoulder as they headed back to their cabin.